She cared.

You know what I find funny? How today a friend told me how they love how I just dont care, like with things like being called a bitch, moody etc.. yet the same day I just got so angry with a certain situation I started to cry. Don’t you hate that? Cause you’re not sad, yet your mind makes it look like you are and you have to explain that you’re angry not upset.

Ive been through quite a lot of shit in my life so far so when I get called little things it doesn’t bother me like some of my friends where it will. I deal with bad situations by making jokes out of them. For example I recently got told I was being moody, at first I was very self-conscious of how I was then acting as I know that I like to be alone and I’m not always the happiest but never thought I was moody so I was asking others (they all responded with no, fanks guys xoxox) But now I’ve gone past my self-conscious face and make jokes about it. So if I ever respond to anything with ‘Is it cause I’m moody’ I apologise in advance.

Because of my jokes to what people call me and not being all hung up or questioning why people think this I guess this is why my friends thing I don’t care with little things. Ive got bigger things to do than chase you round if you want to be pathetic, so warning don’t try that shit on me, it doesn’t work.

Yet the same day I get told I don’t care, I care. But I care more in an annoyed way, like I feel like screaming ‘GO AWAY, GET YOUR OWN FRIENDS’ Really loudly at someone, even though it makes me sound/feel like a 12 year old it’s true. I wish you’d just go away, please.

Top it off, when I started feeling this way I knew one person I could let it all out too… but they don’t care. I don’t miss you, but I miss our friendship. Grrr. I hate myself for that.

I’m so angry in this post. I’m seriously hitting the keys so hard id be surprised if they’re all still working after I’ve finished with this post. I keep going ‘UGGGGH’ out loud as well as I thing about what’s annoying me and how I can’t do anything about it, while trying not to hit something by punching the air instead.

Im sorry that this post probably made no sense, I needed to get my anger out and I found it funny how the girl that doesn’t care, did. Just because she doesn’t show it around people doesn’t mean that I don’t have my breakdowns. Granted though, 75% of the time I don’t care. Because shit happens. Deal with it. So don’t be offended when I don’t get upset if you say something ‘bad’ to me. 

Now i shall go listen to Mayday Parade and cry. lol.