Talents.

"The most important thing to remember is that content is king and audio is queen. Video is just the messenger of the two."

This is supposed to be the start to my personal statement towards my university application. Towards a university application that I won’t be using for another two years or so. Towards a university which I haven’t even decided on yet. Towards a life I haven’t even thought about yet.
I’ve set myself into this media career that because I chose the area I’d like to work apparently people think I should know the specific job I want to commit my life to. They forget I’m still making a stupid mess of my life and what happens if in two years I don’t want to do media anymore? I’m possibly screwed. Not because that’s what I will have spent the whole of college doing but because I’m not good at anything else.

I wouldn’t class media a talent, anyone can pick up a camera, be creative, learn to edit, and although it seems hard once you learn it, it’s pretty simple. Some bits anyway. I’m not that good at it all. But then there’s those people who get caught up for hours drawing, painting, singing, playing an instrument, dancing. I wish I could waste hours doing any of those talents too. But I never did as a child or now. So I feel pretty talentless.

This makes it even harder when I have to write about myself, why do we all find it so hard? Because we’re not used to saying nice things about ourselves or we don’t see what we do a talent or useful?
Ive been coming across this a lot lately, finding myself not useful. Like I have no purpose. I just wish I could waste my hours drawing whatever my brain creates. Or getting wrapped up in a different world when I learn my favourite song on drums. But inside I find myself admiring others work, spending hours reading others masses of words about story’s that don’t exist. Lying on my floor just carefully listening to another’s emotions in a song.
I live for other people’s talent.

I don’t know if I skipped the part of life where everyone got given a talent or what happened but I can’t seem to find mine yet.
Maybe I never will and ill become content with this person admiring others work and feeling a little jealous that I couldn’t do anything like that.