Tuesdays seem to be my breakdown days, although technically I
broke down yesterday, today I was just very very angry.
Let me start by saying why, I basically got ‘played’,
something I was terrified of happening, then boom it happened. The guy I liked
that had been leading me on got into a relationship yesterday.
He used to live somewhere else and told me the reason why I guess we weren’t ‘official’ was because of the distance. He stops talking to me/seeing me, then starts again, like nothings happened. I stupidly forget how shit he made me feel and go along with it. Moves back to where I live yesterday, boom instant new girlfriend.
Equalling in a breakdown from me. Today I saw his face, happy, smiling, in a place I go to escape all the bullshit. I was furious, so mad I was shaking.
Even people in my class realised how mad I was when I told my friend how much he’d pissed me off and one mentioned how they’d never heard me swear before so I must be angry. Which led to my teacher asking what was wrong/made me this mad, obviously I couldn’t just go ‘oh you know... got played.’
What gets me more is that I asked him the week before if he was now in a relationship and he said no it was a long story. Since he hasn’t talked to me since Sunday, I asked him one question stating it would be the last time he heard from me, if he had lied to me last week. Hes seen the message, but doesn’t have the decency to reply to a simple yes or no question. So he has till tomorrow morning where I will say this to him and then tell him ‘Fuck you’
He used to live somewhere else and told me the reason why I guess we weren’t ‘official’ was because of the distance. He stops talking to me/seeing me, then starts again, like nothings happened. I stupidly forget how shit he made me feel and go along with it. Moves back to where I live yesterday, boom instant new girlfriend.
Equalling in a breakdown from me. Today I saw his face, happy, smiling, in a place I go to escape all the bullshit. I was furious, so mad I was shaking.
Even people in my class realised how mad I was when I told my friend how much he’d pissed me off and one mentioned how they’d never heard me swear before so I must be angry. Which led to my teacher asking what was wrong/made me this mad, obviously I couldn’t just go ‘oh you know... got played.’
What gets me more is that I asked him the week before if he was now in a relationship and he said no it was a long story. Since he hasn’t talked to me since Sunday, I asked him one question stating it would be the last time he heard from me, if he had lied to me last week. Hes seen the message, but doesn’t have the decency to reply to a simple yes or no question. So he has till tomorrow morning where I will say this to him and then tell him ‘Fuck you’
Typing this is like releasing all my anger onto this blank
page, I know you probably don’t care, nobody does. But its helped calmed me
down, a little.
But what I don’t get is, when people break up they’re shown eating masses of food, ive felt constantly sick since I saw the fact he was in a relationship, I still feel sick now. I haven’t eaten properly since. I HATE how much I care, and I really didn’t think I would care this much. But I guess I just hide my feelings so well even I forgot how much I liked him.
But what I don’t get is, when people break up they’re shown eating masses of food, ive felt constantly sick since I saw the fact he was in a relationship, I still feel sick now. I haven’t eaten properly since. I HATE how much I care, and I really didn’t think I would care this much. But I guess I just hide my feelings so well even I forgot how much I liked him.
Pretty sure I’m going to be single forever after this, as if
it wasn’t hard enough to trust a guy already someone has to go fuck it up even
more.
If you read all this Thankyou? Welcome to my messed up love
life, welcome to my blog which has calmed me down. Although I’m still so angry.
I’m not sure whether I’m angrier at myself of at him, or both…
Just if you’re a guy and your reading this... please please
just don’t lead someone on, don’t make them feel like shit, don’t play them.
Because you don’t know what they’re going through already and it could possibly
just nudge them over the edge.
He got over me so quickly, I knew he would, I just wish I could do the same, expect when I said I liked him there was a difference. I actually meant it.
He got over me so quickly, I knew he would, I just wish I could do the same, expect when I said I liked him there was a difference. I actually meant it.
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